Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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