forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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