True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
