my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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