I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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