I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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