so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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