i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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