you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
