he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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