um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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