every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
