fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
