all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize