I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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