You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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