He is such a slut. More and more my type.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
