her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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