her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
