there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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