I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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