You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
