Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
