I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
