can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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