I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
