So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
