Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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