I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
