Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
