Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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