I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
