why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
