what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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