go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
