I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
