He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize