Fine. I'll sleep in my office
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
