and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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