think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize