I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
