I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
