Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Randomize
