Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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