i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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