doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
