I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
