Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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