Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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