I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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