Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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