Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
