We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
