dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
