im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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