Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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