I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
