$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
