Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
