hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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