she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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