He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
