You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
last night I used snow as a chaser
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
