I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
